People who pronounce the B in "subtle"
I WANT TO TAKE A NAP
People who see everyone and everything as either all good or all bad. The world is not black and white.
When tea leaves manage to escape the filter and end up floating in my tea.
Getting political advertising texts addressed to John.
We represent the Lollipop Guild...
Five fricking minutes for one bus stop is a little excessive.
All the things.
Facebook, why you keep showing me the same five posts from 8 hours ago?!
When the "logout" option on a site is hard to find.
Forgetting until now that the zipper on my coat is broken.
When the restaurant serves your food with a napkin from another restaurant
Lindsey Buckingham split from Fleetwood Mac again.
Jimmy John's never puts napkins in the bag with delivery orders.
Dead ant floating in my coffee. I know it wasn't there when I first made the coffee. wtf.
The way this almond milk coffee creamer separates and looks all weird after I mix it into my coffee.
Ads from stores that use the term "obsessed", like, "We're obsessed with these suede boots in fall colors."
"Living my best life"
The way Melanie Griffith talks.
Correction: when there's any fruit in my dinner salad. (I will make exceptions for tomatoes and avocados.)
When there's unexpected fruit in my dinner salad.
Laboring on Labor Day.
When I mean to type "You too!" and it comes out as "You tool"
My office smells like feet.
I thought I invented "buffaloaf" yesterday, but google informed me this morning that a million people have already thought of it.
A giant bug just fell (from where?!) onto my head and got tangled in my fricking hair.
I've managed to squeeze about 20 minutes of work into the past two hours.