It smells like either weed or flatulence in here today, with a hint of cheese.

Imagequotes.

Somebody over-toasted (burned) the oats this morning and must now eat her failure.

the grumpty dance is your chance to do the grump

When you inexplicably hit the button to flip the Tetris piece one time too many right before it lands

When Facebook sneakily switches your view from "Most Recent" to "Top Stories" and you unwittingly resurrect old posts.

I don't rock clothes; I wear them. I don't curate collections. And I'm not obsessed with things, I'm just interested in them.

Saying 'employed' when I meant 'deployed'.

It's about time the new code was employed.

metric system

Mystery grit in your bite of quinoa

Repeating myself. #forgetful

Bacon pancakes.

frump

I'm on a roll getting shiz done and I just realized it's past my bedtime.

"Make no mistake."

My face hurts.

Meh, not a good night for Scott Darling.

fORGETTING TO TURN OFF MY CAPSLOCK AND NOT REALIZING IT UNTIL I'VE TYPED SO MUCH THAT IT WOULDN'T BE WORTH THE TIME OF TURNING IT OFF AND GOING BACK TO RETYPE EVERYTHING IN A NON-YELLING WAY.

Stupid 2/29/16 screwing up my enrollment reporting batches.

Dam coffee filter broke. #CrunchyCaffeine

I have a generally bad and panicked feeling today for no apparent reason.

it's really difficult to indicate frustrated key mashing with a Swype keyboard.

awsdswqawssdrrfeesde

There's a banana cream pie and a pan of Rice Krispies treats that I *thought* we were having for dessert, but it looks like we're waiting until mid-afternoon. I WANT THEM NAO!

Tom Waits

crab shells in my seafood chowder

My office smells like feet.

I can't type worth carp today.

"So I uhh...well...I just wanted to say...that is, I was kind of wondering if YOU wanted to..."