"Trunk or Treat"
This isn't elementary school. We don't call the parents every time the student needs to do something. Your daughter is 19 years old and is plenty old enough to handle her own mail.
"Woke up to see this on our counter and literally got butterflies in my stomach."
Finding mold in the non-disassembleable lids of both of my water bottle. Sorry Brita, time to break up.
This girl is pronouncing "and" as "ants".
That last ounce of cold coffee at the bottom of the cup. I don't want to drink it but I don't want to waste it.
Almost getting to work on time but then being delayed by a school bus that was stopped at the projects for five dam minutes because one kid wouldn't get on the bus and then when he did he wouldn't sit down in a dam seat.
There's a happy snuggly kitty on my lap and I don't want to oust him to get up and get ready for work.
Where the dang diddly fracking heck are all these illegal parkers coming from?!
No more episodes of Stranger Things to watch
I ordered my coffee Monday with two-day shipping. I got a shipping notice on Wednesday. Today, the tracking still says, "Shipping Label Created. Pre-Shipment Info Sent to USPS." wtf
The way the lady in the Staples ad says, "Easy peasy lemon squeezy"
Running out of coffee beans and being forced to drink Keurig.
It's humid and smells like a dead animal in here.
Neighborhood kids lighting fireworks when I'm trying to go to sleep.
the roof blew off of part of my office building last night and the whole parking lot is closed today but the offices aren't.
A young grackle may have met his demise in the pool.
"guac" and "parm"
I'm not playing Minecraft right now.
Gah, the cat got into the flowers again. At least he only ate a rose leaf this time and I know those aren't dangerous for cats, although he'll probably puke.