Slack is notifying me for messages that I am sending. Why?!

"Please see the Excel document above." It's a screenshot pasted into a .xlsx. That's all it is. Why does it have to be in an Excel spreadsheet?

MongoDB

When I got my new laptop going, Windows 11 auto-picked my username, which is not what I wanted. Now, to fix it, I have to edit a ton of registry keys to reference the correct username and rename the user profile directory. Tedium raised to the nth power.

For some reason, my mouse keeps changing the speed, even though I'm not pushing any of the buttons.

I just went to grab my coffee cup to take a drink, but the cup is no longer here. I already took it to the kitchen and rinsed it out.

I scraped the back of my leg on a small blower fan I have in my office. The spot of the scrape isn’t where the pain is registered though.

Why does the grumpiness need to flood in for the afternoon?

Did someone not tell me that today is actually Monday?

I don't know how I'll wake up beyond this point today.

I've almost made it through my second cup of coffee before 9:30am

My headphones won't go any louder. I need hearing damage levels.

The adhesive that the bandage left on my thumb doesn't want to clean off, even with alcohol.

I messed up my email this morning and had to regenerate the local cache for it. Now that it's downloading everything again, it's triggering all sorts of antivirus alerts.

Around a month ago I got a new fan to go on the floor in my office. There's no air flow in here without it. Early this morning I woke up to the sound of a cat being twisted until it screamed. Turns out it was the bushing/bearing on that fan having failed.

My mouse keeps failing to work.

I am getting a massive headache.

I want to fry some onions in butter just for the smell.

Meetings that happen at 8:00am.

I want another cup of coffee, but it's almost noon.

The fiber infrastructure crew is on our street today. I hate the sound of whatever pneumatic took they use to run the fish tape through the conduit, or whatever they need that big air compressor for.

That's the second robodial call I've gotten today from an unknown number that I let go to voicemail, where it only captured "or representative".

Grackles.

People who throw work things at me right at 5pm.

I just heard a random female voice say "uh huh" somewhere around my desk, but i have no idea where it was.

When you forget that you had unlocked the tilt for your chair then lean back.

Ytf aren’t my Google contacts syncing with this stupid iPhone?!

Our washing machine is beginning to show its age.

Bummer, I thought we were really close to 10,000 Grumps, but apparently something in the neighborhood of 150 Grumps have been deleted.

A flake of black pepper just stuck to the back of my throat.