I need a pile of warm, fresh, soft, buttery, oatmeal raisin cookies.

I thought it was Saturday, but it’s not.

I'm too tired to form proper word strings.

What's with all these doctors resigning?

Serious, people. You haven't been hacked. Someone just "drove" by and saw your profile and copied you. It's not a hack. It's the same as if you stood naked on your front lawn and someone got a prosthetic suit to look just like you and did the same in their lawn.

The slimey gel used for ultrasound techniques.

I tried to install new smoke detectors, but only made a mess because the old drywall is garbage.

Mandatory HIPAA training.

I need a new mouse pad, but I don't want some huge, thick thing.

I decided it's time for my old SoftLayer mouse pad to go in the garbage. It's symbolic, too.

The first thing I did when I sat down at my desk was to dump my cup of coffee everywhere.

It's probably going to snow/freeze again next week.

Even though I spent 10ish minutes cleaning up the microwave mess, my food is still hotter than fresh lava from a volcano.

My lunch boiled over in the microwave, leaving a mess of molten cheese and bacon sauce all over the place.

Python.

When pagination size controls are at the bottom of the page.

It was perfect weather yesterday and I spent the afternoon outside. I'm coughing now.

I am in a ton of pain.

I woke up in a panic, thinking I had overslept for work. It’s Saturday though.

I have split ends in my mustache.

O. V. E. R. W. H. E. L. M. E. D.

Last week I understood options trading well enough to use a fantasy stock/stock simulator to work with it. But now, I've completely forgotten everything about it. Why do they have to use vague and odd names like "call", "put", and "strike"?

I was just trying to read something on bookface and the page reloaded on me and I can't find what I was reading now.

My 3TB drive is full.

That's cool, my browser decided to close for no reason a bit ago.

I just can't function today.

ChatGPT doesn't allow people calling it useless/worthless/ignorant anymore.

I forgot how a z pack wrecks my sleep.

I need to shave my keyboard. Or get a new one.

I pulled a muscle in the right side of my back last night and it still hurts.