I woke up around 2am and laid there awake until almost 4am. I'm barely getting through things today.

When someone says, "He is military."

The sound the remote makes when you press the buttons on it

"boom boom"

"Must be nice."

"It's been a minute."

"work the list"

"vacay"

I can't type 'Florida' without first typing 'Floriday'

"Shop the Fit!"

I ordered green beans at lunch and they gave me baked beans.

eligible # ow-ji-bow

aesthetic # a-stet-ic

All the "NOBODY:" memes everywhere

The way Graham Hancock speaks.

afternoon --> aff-da-doon

"Good friends, good times"

the word 'gentle'

"Prayers to the families."

You don't "hangout". You "hang out".

"Pray me home."

Jacob --> jay-cup

Tepid black coffee

"The social Security number you entered cannot be entered."

The way people ignore the H when they pronounce "aesthetic" and "anesthesia"

I came here to Grump but the SSL certificate was expired. Now that it's fixed, I don't remember what I was going to Grump about!

When someone says, "I'm OCD." You are obsessive compulsive disorder?

hierarchy # high-arky

Heart hands.

vulnerable --> vunner-bo