Running out of coffee beans and being forced to drink Keurig.

It's humid and smells like a dead animal in here.

Shania Twain.

passive aggressiveness

Paula Abdul.

Neighborhood kids lighting fireworks when I'm trying to go to sleep.

the roof blew off of part of my office building last night and the whole parking lot is closed today but the offices aren't.

tornaduses

A young grackle may have met his demise in the pool.

"guac" and "parm"

I'm not playing Minecraft right now.

"Installing Spotify..."

Gah, the cat got into the flowers again. At least he only ate a rose leaf this time and I know those aren't dangerous for cats, although he'll probably puke.

Bacon pancakes.

Elections.

clickbait

Bespoke.

Why does my (clean) laundry suddenly smell like cheese?

Mmm...solder smoke.

STOP SAYING 'LIKE'!!!!

Of course the maintenance guy shows up to check out the heat situation this morning when it's 50 degrees and we've had the windows open. Come back at noon, dude.

And now it's 458 degrees in the office.

Rock Lobster

when you get that tickly feeling in the back of your throat that makes you cough uncontrollably and nothing will make it go away and everybody in the office thinks you're dying

when Windows Media Center randomly opens

decongestant that doesn't decongest

Tuesdays.

Lords of the Fallen

Monday.

Being stuck on the stupid Windows welcome screen for ten minutes.