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Since I started working here, the carpets have never been cleaned. That was in 2009. I'm told it was "many years" before that since the last time they were cleaned. Every other part of the building has been updated in the last three years. Even the storage area in the basement is getting fresh paint. Yet here we continue with nasty carpet, filthy walls, and falling-apart desks that we have to warn students not to lean on so they don't get splinters. What the eff.

People who don't take no for an answer.

That fruit cup commercial. "Oh, they're drainers."

Suspense!

Fleek.

All music sounds like crap right now.

Dried banana chips.

I slammed my thumb in my desk drawer. Now it has a heartbeat.

Dried food bits stuck to the inside of my water bottle. Thank you, dishwasher.

ice

Who staples a check?!

Let the weirdness begin.

People who say "O" when they mean "zero"

"WIND CHILL VALUES...15 BELOW TO 30 BELOW."

FRICKING BSoD!

Raw sewage coming up out of the floor drain in the restroom. Again. Ugh.

"We need a little Christmas."

Finding mystery bits stuck to the bottom of the inside of your water bottle while you're polishing off the last ounce of your second bottleful.

Group text conversations.

I have the chicken dance song stuck in my head.

"Micheal"

"Processing, please wait..." *crash*

Your current student loan balance: $0. Your estimated loan balance you'll owe when you graduate: $11,000. Q: As of today, what is your current student loan balance? A: $0. INCORRECT; your current student loan balance is $11,000.

"Round and Round" by Ratt

"Trunk or Treat"

An headache.

This isn't elementary school. We don't call the parents every time the student needs to do something. Your daughter is 19 years old and is plenty old enough to handle her own mail.

"Woke up to see this on our counter and literally got butterflies in my stomach."

time zones