I often struggle with understanding that when I'm in a group chat with n other people, the total participant count should be n + 1.

Ugh, allergies, still.

There's some sort of work going on in the crawlspace below my office with a hammer drill.

I'm suddenly typing out everything as a rhyme. For this, nobody has the time!

I woke up this morning with a bunch of phlegm in the back of my throat. I thought I was doing okay after I cleared it, but then I went outside. Now my eyes are super irritated and my throat is sore feeling.

I just randomly tapped out the beat to "Makin' bacon pancakes" on my desk.

The allergies got me.

Rib pain.

This is the third day in 3 weeks that this same truck has been parked in my space well after 7am.

Airbuds.

"Irregardless"

Of course I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE GOING ON right now.

I have this knot in the back of my lower left leg that feels like a muscle cramp. It started as a major cramp yesterday morning as I was getting out of bed, and today it feels like it's threatening to cramp again. It really hurts.

That was not enough of a lunch.

Even though it's not where my tastebuds are, the roof of my mouth being burned is causing almost anything I eat to not taste good.

I didn't wait long enough to eat my pot pie, so I got burned.

em·pa·thize ˈempəˌTHīz/ verb: empathise understand and share the feelings of another.
'define: apathize' - Did you mean: define: empathize

Pot Pie cooking instructions: Microwave on high for 9 to 10 minutes. Let rest for as many years before eating.

It hurts way too much to write with a pen.

Writer's Cramp.

Welcome to the day-after-Humira Grump zone.

"Thank you for calling. Please select from the following menu. Listen carefully because our menu has changed." Every. Time. For. The. Last. Five. Years.

This hold music has music trivia on it.

"We are experiencing higher-than-normal hold times. Please wait on the line and someone will be with you shortly."

Why is a deep, chest-y cough acceptable in a conference call but a belch isn't?

I have that sharp pain between the shoulders and up the back of my neck that is caused by stress.

I just sent my boss an email and put a Grumpy Cat image in it.

Was on hold with CVS. Someone hung up on me.

Cellular coverage at my house is AWFUL.

I forgot my hoodie again.