Nether of my computers are behaving this morning.

The word "noone".

Why do I always get "how do you feel about x" surveys when I'm most grumpy?

Ambiguity.

Powerpoint.

I just injected JavaScript into a Grump. Intentionally.

The men's room has been at full capacity all day.

Stupid Apple Magic Mouse keeps dropping connection.

My last Grump almost worked as a haiku but I was too lazy to make it happen.

Slow, old, crappily-designed databases.

I still keep thinking today is Friday.

Lotus Notes.

My office chair was replaced with a new chair overnight. The new chair is broken: The left arm rest doesn't stay up and there's something missing for the backrest to adjust the height of it.

Allergies

Sciatica.

I had a lot of changes that I was sure that I saved in an Excel document. I made another change then told it to save the document. It gave me some "you need to grant access to this folder" thing, then told me I needed to close and reopen the file. When I did, all my changes were gone.

My office smells like duct tape.

The last 2 days have been so bad that I haven't been able to grump. I think I might artificially inject grumps.

"Please allow 3 - 5 business days to be removed from our email list."

My space bar feels like it has gum under it. It doesn't.

There is no salt or pepper in the break room.

Monday.

This light roast coffee tastes like dark roast.

I just sneezed so hard that I bit my tongue.

I WANT DONUTS

Left join queries.

Trying to remember which of the 5 passwords I have now belongs to my workstation to unlock it.

"Soup to Nuts"

Websites that are statically rendered at 800px wide. Yes, I know....