the way Jennifer Garner talks

My coat zipper broke beyond repair today and the weather has turned cold and wet again.

All the times I know I'll try to enter "2.29.18" as the date today.

"pick your brain"

I ordered a tuna melt and I got a cold tuna salad sandwich. Where's the melt??

The couple making out by my window.

When I can hear the saliva smacking in someone's mouth when they talk.

That webinar was just a lady reading through PowerPoint slides about how to sign up for an account on their website. Most useless 45 minutes of my day so far.

This style of singing: https://youtu.be/s34bnIM-rcs

An headache.

Someone didn't do a very thorough job of plucking the feathers from these chicken thighs.

I can't be both empathetic and apathetic at the same time.

This Reese's Cup coffee creamer is weird.

Not having a decent spoon at the office for eating beef stew. The plastic ones we have go all meltedy.

When I'm listening to Spotify at the front desk and a Vagasil commercial comes on.

Vocal fry.

AIR CONDITIONING IN JANUARY

When an air freshener is advertised as a nice autumnal apple spice scent but it smells more like urinal cake.

"on point"

anesTETic

When someone asks for my opinion and then argues against my answer.

ASDFLJGAWKUYVAGSKJDGHF

Skudd is really grumpy before lunch.

Forgetting to verb a sentence.

AWLJKDSFASKLDS

Oprah's glasses

When you're listening to an album on Spotify and the song is supposed to blend right into the next one, but it gets interrupted by ads.

the weird flaky bits that always litter the top of our copier display

I have yet to find a cough suppressant or decongestant that really works.

That commercial with a lady slowly eating a Lindor truffle.