"make no mistake"

I just realized I didn't eat breakfast today.

I can manage multiple tasks. But I can't manage multiple crises.

When the bottom of your shoe squeaks down the side of your desk and sounds like flatulence...

"tator" tots

Mouseover pop-ups.

EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE

I was going through my closet two weekends ago and found a couple pairs of sandals I'd forgotten I had. They were a little old but seemed to still be in good condition. I wore one pair of them to work today, and by noon, the whole top of the sandal had come detached from the bottom. :-/

I lost a Bombas sock at the laundromat.

Declarations of how bad [fill in the blank] is these days.

A live wasp nest in the smoker

Those "Before you go..." popups when you click the back button on a webpage

A big spider rappelling from the ceiling in our bedroom this morning.

This iced espresso was 2/3 ice.

This radio guy keeps saying "Mercedes Binz"

"A she-shad"

If I have to call a place back several times over the course of a week (or longer) before someone finally answers to schedule an appointment, I'm 95% less likely to even bother trying.

"Instapot" and "Pintrest"

vulnerable # vul-na-bull

false # faults

estimate # est-a-mint

The way English people pronounce "chocolate"

Every time I include anyone else on an order from Jimmy John's, it ends up taking a couple hours to get here or the order gets "lost" entirely. Today's order is already starting out to be no exception to that.

When I placed my Jimmy John's delivery order, I got a warning that orders will be delayed because of inclement weather. There is no inclement weather today.

I ground a little bit of cardamom seeds in the mortar & pestle this morning to add to my coffee grounds before I made my morning brew, but apparently the mortar & pestle was recently used to grind rosemary, because my coffee has tasting notes of Thanksgiving dinner.

Welp, time to be smug about the weather again.

When Harry Potter haters refer to it as "Harry Pot Head"

"I mean," is not a complete sentence.

Shake that thing

"play college ball"